Patiently Waiting

Queer Crucifixtion

 

The Path of Waiting

Mary Anoints Jesus at Bethany

12 Six days before the Passover, Jesus therefore came to Bethany, where Lazarus was, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. So they gave a dinner for him there. Martha served, and Lazarus was one of those reclining with him at table. Mary therefore took a pound[a] of expensive ointment made from pure nard, and anointed the feet of Jesus and wiped his feet with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. But Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples (he who was about to betray him), said, “Why was this ointment not sold for three hundred denarii[b] and given to the poor?” He said this, not because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief, and having charge of the moneybag he used to help himself to what was put into it. Jesus said, “Leave her alone, so that she may keep it[c] for the day of my burial. For the poor you always have with you, but you do not always have me.

The Path of Waiting

“Passion is a kind of waiting – waiting for what other people are going to do. Jesus went to Jerusalem to announce the good news to the people of that city. And Jesus knew that he was going to put a choice before them: Will you be my disciple, or will you be my executioner? There is no middle ground here. Jesus went to Jerusalem to put people in a situation where they had to say “Yes” or “No”. That is the great drama of Jesus’ passion: he had to wait for their response. What would they do? Betray him or follow him?

 In a way, his agony is not simply the agony of approaching death. It is also the agony of being out of control and of having to wait. It is the agony of a God who depends on us to decide how to live out the divine presence among us. It is the agony of the God who, in a very mysterious way, allows us to decide how God will be God. Here we glimpse the mystery of God’s incarnation. God became human not only to act among us but also to be the recipient of our responses.
And that is the mystery of Jesus’ love. Jesus in his passion is the one who waits for our response. Precisely in that waiting the intensity of his love and God’s is revealed to us”. 

 Henri Nouwen

Kafir wrote in fifteenth century:

“Look what happens to the scale

when love holds

it.

It

stops

working.”

    Recently I  sat with a minster friend and we discussed my ministry, it was one of the most insightful, and compassionate discussions in memory. She met with me to share my grief over Vicki’s death, and the discussion became  in the way my life is lived in ministry,  I live it twenty four hours a day. It is a ministry in which the boundaries of the modern concepts of friendship  are put aside, and I see everyone as my friend; friendship’s are  not a matter of age, race, social economic standing, religious back ground,  none of this matters,  it is one in which the views of people, the way they live their lives, be they different from mind, come down to loving them as a person, and does not distract me. Love holds the scale, as it did with Jesus in our story today.

    This is not a way of living that can be taught or that is easy, it is living it through the years, struggling each moment, to let go of our prejudices, hatreds, biases, and fears,  and in so doing loving others without reservation.

    I was told that I have the gift of being an “emotional sponge”, meaning that I am able to take in the emotional pain of others and hold it, keep it safe, so that they might have relief in the moment. Maybe it is a gift. I believe we are all called to be “emotional sponges”, to hold the pain of others. I find myself keeping to myself much of my own pain because few people can hold it. They tell me find a therapist, and the reality is  we all need to be able to share our pain, and in doing so free ourselves of much of that has isolated us in our society.

    It is not easy, today I am exhausted, as I am so many days, and I grieve, I am grieving hard Vicki’s death, because she was my best friend, and I grieve every death of my kids, and I hold their pain, I need no words of sympathy, but what I hope to leave with my dying breath is that I have touched one life, made the difference in one life, and that the words of Corrie ten Boom have become more of a reality as a result of my living:

“This is what the past is for! Every experience God gives us, every person He puts in our lives is the perfect preparation for the future that only He

can see.”

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Tenderloin Stations of the Cosmic Christ

In Honor of the life of Vicki Yeley

Good Friday/April 19, 2019

Noon-2:00 p.m.

A Walk of Reflection on Homelessness

We begin in front of City Hall-Polk Street Side

Will Pray and Feed Anyone Who Is Hungry

(two volunteers needed at 9:30 a.m. to prepare sandwiches)

Sponsored by Temenos Catholic Worker

Fr. River Damien Sims, sfw, D.Min., D.S.T.

P.O. Box 642656

San Francisco, CA 94164

415-305-2124

www.temenos.org

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A big thank you to  Carla Olaya, mother of two of my best friends for helping me serve the reception at St. Luke’s this morning. You have no idea of the burden you took off of my shoulders

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