Journey on the Edge

Living on the Edge

Matthew 10:1-7

        The twelve disciples are listed in this passage. Twelve men, from all areas of life, rough,, tough, fickle, none live in the black and white areas of life, and they would change the world. They all lived on the edge.

    I remember a day in May many moons ago, after being interviewed by the Board of Ordained ministry for ordination, and a a member of the Board,and psychologist informed me that I would be ordained. In his remarks Jerry said; “Your theology seems to be so positive, you do not see how depraved humanity is.”  You are very black and white, and your time is coming when you will enter the darkness, and in doing so find the light.”

    It was a prophesy that would come true sooner than later. All of my life I had lived in the upper middle class black and whiteness. There was poverty and discrimination, and never did I see it from my white protected eyes. I felt loved, surrounded by people who respected and supported me.

    And than came the questioning of my sexuality, and the friends, some of whom I knew from childhood, turned on me, and I was kicked out of my church.

    The best thing that ever happened was being a whore and living on the streets of Hollywood. I lived in a grey world, a world  completely different than the one in which I grew up. I learned to walk on the edge, not to judge people, but to listen,to love them, and to be with them in the moment.

    I live between two worlds-one in which people have no perception of the reality of what is going on under their noses, and the other of people suffering questioning, living on the edge, and feeling totally alone. A world where death is a present reality. As one author tells us:“The street transforms every ordinary day into a series of quick questions and every incorrect answer risks a beat down, a shooting or pregnancy.” This is the real world.

    We live in a world of snap chat, text, face book–where there is little feeling and emotion expressed. We  try to put on our best face. It is a world that is cruel, and treacherous because things can be said without any feed back; a world in which gossip is passed, and becomes implanted on our computers.     A threat was recently made that scared the fuck out of me, it sticks in my  mind, goes deep within me late at night. They come now  too often these days.

    We need to put down our computers, come out of the nether world and talk to people, listen, and love them, and see the wonders that are performed. Rather than tear down statues we need to change our hearts and bring a revolution of the heart and those statues will fall down. Deo Gratias! Thanks be to God!


Father River Damien Sims, sfw, D.Min.

P.O. Box 642656

San Francisco, CA 94164

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